Forgiveness

The blog, Against a Dictatorship of Relativism, has a great post on forgiveness. Forgiveness is, I think, a cornerstone of Christianity and yet is so difficult.

The Zenit article referenced talks about forgiveness from a Catholic as well as from a psychological perspective. Dr. Robert Enright, a psychologist and founder of the International Forgiveness Institute researches the practice of forgiveness. In his interview with Zenit he mentions the steps necessary to forgive.

1. Acknowledge that you have been harmed and are angry.

2. Explore what forgiveness really is and is not. For example, to forgive does not mean to forget the wrong, to condone, excuse or even to reconcile with the wrongdoer. Enright admits, "One can forgive the bully and then watch one's back."

Forgiveness, according to Enright means "to reduce resentment and increase benevolence and love toward someone who was unjust."

3. He recommends "Cognitive Forgiveness" which involves practicing forgiving thoughts about the person who was unjust. It helps, he says, to think of them as a whole person who is not defined by his or her hurtful actions alone. Realize that they are children of God.

6. Emotional forgiveness is the often difficult next step. It entails opening yourself up to feelings of compassion and love toward the other person.

7. The final step is "bearing the pain" of the hurt done towards you. One cannot undo the hurtful act, but we can accept the pain and be a conduit for good for the offender. As Christians, this means identifying with the sufferings of Christ, who bore our pain on the cross.

Christ endured suffering because of our sin. He was innocent. By realizing that Christ has opened up the road before us, we can carry our own cross while on this earth and, with His help, move towards forgiving those who have hurt us.